Transfiguration

by Anthony Valentine

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adfhavener I love this song! The whole album is awesome. I think I've listened through all the songs 4 times already. Favorite track: Days Of Night.
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03:37
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01:55
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01:56
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03:18
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credits

released February 14, 2017

Self-Produced in Louisville, KY
© 2017 - Anthony Valentine - ASCAP

Dedicated to Lara Summers - I hope you would've enjoyed this.

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about

Anthony Valentine Louisville, Kentucky

Singer/Songwriter & Multi-Instrumentalist born 1996. All material is completely self-produced.

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Track Name: Regression!
I am no longer whom you claim me to be.
He only lives in your memory as a ghost with no recollection of shared history.

You’re already dead to me.

I was once in regression; a dying light surrounded by cold on the darkest night until a transfiguration - like you wouldn’t believe - set me free.
Track Name: Days Of Night
We’re running in circles around these quick-fix satisfactions. I have been numb for days on end, but I still feel fascination. I’m trading hours for minutes, but that’s the price you pay to get a fix. My ego’s on high; I’ve lost my mind to get a hit.

We should have remained strangers, but you are the most beautiful danger.

I’m breaking all my commitments except for the one I’ve made to you now. Everyone’s a fucking hypocrite; I guarantee they couldn’t turn you down.

They’ve told me that I’m unrecognizable from the person I used to be.

Hallelujah; I’m no longer the one who hates me.

One after the other; give me another day of night. Show me what cannot be seen in the light. Life within the dead of night until you decide to bleed me dry.
Track Name: Long Lost Desires
I caught a glimpse of a beautiful life. Nothing had lost its glow and love spread like wildfire. There is a vacant home that holds my heart. It still holds memory; much more bitter now than sweet.

[you know, every now and then I’ll be reminded of a frame of my I used to have and honestly… it’s like a slap in the fucking face. I never wanted to grow content with feeling miserable, but it’s either finding contentment in my misery or attempting to kill myself again… and that’s not an option]

When did I become so jaded? Bipolar disorder goes unmedicated, but I’m still not my father. Addicted to my mania until it gets me into trouble.

What a disappointment I must be to anyone who’s ever tried to love me. I’ve always been my own worst enemy. I used to have something to offer, but now I’m just a burden with a long lost desire for finding worth.
Track Name: Intervention
You should have made sure that I was dead when you put a piece of lead inside my head.

So I followed you home to your wife and kids; now it’s time to tell them whose blood this is.

“This is your fathers blood” is what I say, to which they all return to me a confused face. “Of course it is!” your children said. “You shot yourself right in the head.”
I asked “Why would I ever choose to go out that way?”
“Because you felt guilty murdering us yesterday.”

Violence, violence! Everywhere I turn I find violence. We love it – We need it.

Conflict, conflict! We cannot solve our conflicts without blood.

Don’t pretend you aren’t capable of such evil. When it comes time to sacrifice, you never give up your own life. This is my family; we’re living the dream. We watch our television and dare not see reality.
Track Name: Sun
I’ve spent so long in your shadow; I can’t remember the warmth of the sun.

No one is truly alive down here.

Through all of this decay, I will crawl out. I’ve been a slave to these wicked ways.
I gave into my vanity; disenchanting all the beauty elsewhere.
I’ve got nothing to compare.

Every day’s become a fight for survival as I try to keep the cold out,
but this kind of thing doesn’t pass through the door.
It spreads through your bones and leaves you longing for (the sun).

My heart’s become as broken as all of my empty promises.
I fail to find a way out of my own head. I look at my reflection and I fear for myself, my health, my friends, and all my passions. I refuse to be a victim of my circumstances even when I probably should be asking for a hand, but I never wanted to feel I couldn’t do it on my own.
Track Name: Already Dead
You think I’m insane, but I know for sure that I’m already dead.
How else would you explain the hell I’m in?
Track Name: Gone
When the light had left your eyes, time froze right there and hasn’t moved since.

Where did you go? I’ll never know. Are you going home? I’d like to think so.

In your final hour, you thought you wouldn’t be missed; I’ve been looking for you ever since. They have told me that I need to move on, but they don’t seem to understand that all I ever loved is gone.
Track Name: No Rhyme Or Reason
Magnificence - everywhere but here… such an accident.

If all of this is god’s plan, I won’t attend the celebration. There’s no free will if it’s a part of the plan; it’s all without a rhyme or reason.

Such innocence, shamefully destroyed by our carelessness. We’re parasites; completely aware that what we find to be beautiful is drained by our appetites.

Parasites

We won’t save ourselves, so we look to something else. Why don’t you take a look around? We are the designers of this hell.
Track Name: They'll Never Know
Most of my friends are fake-fucks. There’s something about me that intimidates those I associate with. Is the heart I wear on my sleeve? Is it the talent handed down to me?

(you’ve been)
Casting stones & breaking the bones of the ones you envy.

They’ll never know what it means to believe in something greater than ourselves.
They will never know what it takes to create something that’s only been dreamed.

Most of you people are thoughtless; thinking and behaving in whichever way you are told to. Does it stem from the fear of rejection? That would explain the hesitation.

Don’t you dare point your finger at me for wanting more.
Track Name: Blood Donor
I have a love that simply will not die. No matter what I do or how hard I try, she will not die. I know you aren’t really human, and giving blood has become boring… so why don’t you come on outside into the light and evaporate out of my life?

I’ve been waiting for you to give me the secret to immorality. I know that you pretend to love for the blood that you desperately need.

I have a feeling that I can’t confide in anyone other than my pale bride, but she’s so dead inside. She tells me I’m her favorite person, but she has had the worst intentions. I’m nothing but a blood donor; my vital signs show a sign that isn’t right.

When she told me that I was her type, I think I understand what she meant that night. We said until death do us part, hence the stake that I put inside her heart.

I don’t want another day of night. Is it too late for me to change my mind?
Have I been left behind?
Track Name: [out of my mind]
Hey now, don’t tell it’s all just in my head; you know that I’d rather be dead.
My love, I beg you not to let me go. I don’t think I can make it in this world on my own.

I never asked to fall in love for the first or the last time, so get the fuck out of my mind.

Goodbye has never been a word I like to hear. My dear, you draw a feeling I can’t describe when you are near. I feel love come on.
It’s a damn shame it has to be this way,
but I can’t make your heart feel what it doesn’t want to.

I find myself infatuated with the most jaded things of all.
It isn’t very complicated; the bigger the climb, the harder the fall.
Track Name: [survivor's guilt]
Your sun has scorched my mind – it’s nothing but a wasteland in here.
I will confess everything; I’ve longed for your touch – I’ve prayed for your rain.

Every second has become an eternity.
Ignorance was bliss, I’ll admit - I never knew that I was starving.

I’m just another motherfucker that’s been caught in the web;
woven by ever dream now dead. (I said)
I’ve been looking for the promise land; the Atlantis of the sand - nevertheless, it’s out of my hands and out of my reach now.
Every single word that I tried to preach only turned right around to point out my hypocrisy.

You caught my eye… you brought me to life just to watch me die.
I’ve become a vagabond. If home holds the heart, my heart is long gone.

I never thought it’d be so easy to unveil the darker parts of my humanity.
Is innocence lost in the thick of the plot or expelled by our own thoughts?
The only thing I want is what you took from me.
Track Name: [lost & found]
I sit in my room, write my songs, and watch it all slip away.
I don’t get out much anymore; I can’t seem to find my place.
There is a girl who gives me all her love, but I don’t feel it… and once she knows she’s deprived and moves on with her life, I’ll know she meant it.

I am looking for something that cannot be found.
It’s lost within my head and buried beneath the sound.
Every song I write brings me closer the truth; I never will return what was lost in my youth.

Love is lost and found, although it never stays around. Would you still choose to stay knowing that I was only good for you yesterday?

All of my shame won’t erase what you must think of me. I know I’m a catch twenty-two; I’ve made you hate yourself for loving me the way you do.
You were my only friend in isolation… when I’d done a little more than contemplation.
These songs would only exist in the head of a dead man if not for you.

Where’s the dividing line that keeps me from my heart?
I want to feel the sun without getting burned.